what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
