I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
