I wish I could teleport
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
