He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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