I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
dude. I can hear the air.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
