Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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