Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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