Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize