I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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