Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
