It's Friday. Sex?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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