shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
