areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
