then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
