"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
