She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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