Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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