I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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