your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
ok first of all what the fuck
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
