I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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