the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
