Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
