There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
