He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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