Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
