He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
