Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
