I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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