Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
