I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
