i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
