i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize