you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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