I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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