New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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