So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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