i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
