Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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