He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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