it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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