There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
