I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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