Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
FUCK WHALES
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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