she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
