Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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