There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
