is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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