Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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