So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
