I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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