I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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