the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
