we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
