I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
