SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
