aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
