Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
